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“We tell the tales of heroes to remind ourselves that we also can be
great.”
The Tao of Shinsei
“How can you say that?” Marilyn
asked, looking back across the seats at Everett. “How can you say there’s no such thing as
magic?”
Everett chuckled. “Marilyn, come on,” he said. But she watched him closely, waiting for
his answered. “To believe in magic,”
he began, at first unable to find the words he needed, “is to believe that
the world is fundamentally malleable. This
world isn’t malleable,” he whispered to her, the two ignoring the continued
conversation between the audience and the city officials. “Schrodinger’s cat is alive even if the box
is closed. There isn’t some magical
and guiding force which governs humanity, or any other aspect of life. Wishful thinking doesn’t make anything
happen, even if you mix it with crystals and potions and playing cards.”
Marilyn shook her head, a wash of
disappointment filling her. “I can’t
believe I’d ever hear words this pessimistic coming from you.” He shrugged, unable to meet her gaze. “How can you say things like that? You’re a knight. Knights believe in optimism and idealism.”
“Knights believe in Chivalry,” Everett said, almost
correcting her. “It’s idealism, yes,
but it’s an idealism that we believe must be worked towards through physical
and social means.”
“It’s an abstract concept,” Marilyn
disputed.
“It is an abstract concept,” he
agreed. “Just like inherent good. But we don’t believe in relying on those
abstract concepts to make the world go round.
Part of what makes a knight a knight is the belief in might for right,
in taking one’s own responsibility to do what you feel needs to be done, not
relying on an abstract concept to do it for you.”
“So you don’t believe in god,”
Marilyn directed. To her surprise, Everett smirked. “What?” she exclaimed.
“You pull out that card every time
we have this argument,” he accused jovially.
“How can god exist without blind optimism?”
“It isn’t blind,” Marilyn insisted,
serious even as she smiled.
“It’s…ambitious. I want to
believe that there’s more to this world than is at first physically evident. I want to believe in things like chi and
animal totems and a spirit world and an afterlife.”
“And I don’t,” Everett said frankly.
In Marilyn’s eyes, he could see
her heart sink. “Why not?” she asked.
Everett sat back, thinking. He glanced at the people sitting not far
away from them, none of them seeming to even be aware of the conversation
that was taking place. “Because an
afterlife would mean that this life, this world, is some kind of practice or
rehearsal. It would mean that the
world we live in is just some fake world, an interim, while there’s some real
world out there waiting for us to maybe, or maybe not, get to it.”
“Why does that bother you?”
Marilyn said with a smile. “That
sounds wonderful to me, the idea that there’s something greater.”
“There’s always something greater,
Marilyn,” Everett
said. “But to insinuate, for just a
second, that this world is some kind of…dress rehearsal, for some later form
of life…” He shook his head. “As for spirit animals and stuff. I don’t want to think, to even consider,
the idea that there are things which can influence and control this world,
but which this world can not control as well. I don’t even want to think about it, but
it’s also preposterous. If A effects B
this much,” he said with a gesture of his hands, “then B must effect A this
much.” He repeated the gesture. “It’s a law of physics.”
“No it isn’t,” Marilyn
argued. “The sun basically controls
everything about the earth, but the earth doesn’t have the slightest influence
on the sun.” Everett looked away, saying nothing
more. Marilyn smiled at him. “You sound like a man who’s denying the sky
might be stars, insisting instead that it’s just a blanket with pinholes
poked in it. The idea of a larger
world scares you.”
“It doesn’t scare me,” he
said. “I just don’t want to think that
what we do in this life is somehow less important.”
“It’s all important, Everett,” Marilyn said
with a smile. She reached out, putting
her hand on his. He looked at her
fingers, his heart beginning to race even as he swallowed any sign of it. “What we do in this world is what
matters.” She gave him a warm
smile. “That’s why we have to do good. Because good is creation and
happiness. And when something is
created, its influence spreads. And we
want creation and happiness to spread.”
Everett smiled, taking Marilyn’s hand. She held onto his, the two forgetting about
the auditorium and the speakers. The
rest of the world disappeared as the two of them sat together, joined by
their hands.
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